Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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