It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
