Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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