Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
