question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
