we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
