So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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