let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
