its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
