I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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