I think scott just propositioned me for sex
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
