If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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