East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
