Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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