i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
