i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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