i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Let's get the cat blown out
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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