I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you would pick up someone in the library
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize