I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
