i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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