Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
