Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
