My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
