Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
