Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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