I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
