i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
