It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
