we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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