We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
