Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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