..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
