her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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