i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
