Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
