im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
