Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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