i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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