i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
