I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
