i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
