Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
