Jerry, you need to find god
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
