So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
