Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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