So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
