the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
