I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
