hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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