ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
