I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
