Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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