Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
