Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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