It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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