Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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