end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i out mim tonsoeep
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